Stupid Mistake
by Devildelivery
Summary: He called it an accident. He just didn't expect it happening, but he didn't want to miss it either. [yaoi warning, TaitoYamachi]
1. Chapter 1

Redvind: hey guys!

Koromon: we're back again! With a ficcy that Redvind have been occupied with for long.

Redvind: I used to like this fic. The idea was stuck at me deep, as I started to write 'Seek' /how come the story ideas must often come up when I'm working on another fic/ but…I'm not sure now.

Koromon?

Redvind: I mean, the more I write it, the more it begins to suck up!

Koromon: anyway, here it comes…

**Stupid mistake** by Redvind

I was in love with a boy.

I wasn't really expecting that. Sure I hoped that one day I would find someone I cared most and falling in love with but never once did I think it would be a boy. When I first saw him, it was sort of like an accident.

I walked home, earlier than usual, after band practice. It was a very tough day. We argued about something that I couldn't clearly remember but it made us all mad and the only agreement we had was go back home and talk about it later. After that we went to our own ways. I used this way that passed the soccer field. I was not into sport nor cared about it much. That's why I had never paid any attention to whatever circled around…in another word, him.

There was a game playing to the end, I thought. Because it was a loud whistle blow that altered me to look over the field. It was when I first saw him.

A boy, around my age, with beautiful tanned skin that glowed in the last sunlight of the day and hair that slightly messed up from gentle wind, was standing out in the middle of the field. He was gasping for breathes, eyes half closed, lips parted openly, head raised up to the sky, sweats rolling down his face, hand tugging his collar's soccer uniform to let off the heat. The boy was clearly in ecstasy.

That sight was absolutely gorgeous.

I was stunned, feeling my heart beat faster like it would badly break out my chest. I couldn't take eyes off him. I kept watching him until he went with his teammates to the club's locker room. And until the crowd moved to separate ways that I was able to snap out off my thought and went home. I dreamt of him that night, about nothing in particular as he was just…standing there, smiling at me warmly. I heard him call my name. I called his back…then it hit me that I didn't actually know his name. He kept calling mine. Next minutes I realized it was actually my father trying to wake me up. Realities came down on me.

It was love at the first sight.

I was in love with a boy whom I didn't even know his name but his number in the team. It was ten.

Fortunately he was a player in my school's soccer team. That gave me a chance to see him in school. Probably to know him more.

Unfortunately I wasn't the only one.

'_Have you heard about the soccer game's yesterday? Our school's team won! Could you believe it?'_

'_Yeah! I also heard that it was because of this first year new player. He scored the winning goal.'_

'_Not to mention he is very cute, too. And very sexy!' a sigh. 'Such a body. And eyes that are like none others.'_

The next day all I heard around school was how great yesterday's game and how fantastic the number tenth player was. I leaned his name shortly after. Yagami Taichi.

Students and teachers congratulated him all day in hall way, in class, in gym…almost everywhere. Even in toilets they were talking about him. Although every time he said it wasn't all because of him. They won because of the team.

He was very popular, one of star athletes, carefree, funny, cheerful and brave and...and…AH! You say it. There are a lot of things about him that make everyone love him. Of course, some might not like him that much…jealousy type, you know what I mean, but at least they leave him alone. Nor they did start a fight with him because they knew perfectly that they would never be able to defeat him. Personally I think they couldn't really find the hearts to.

I saw him around school once or twice, but I never had courage to go talk to him. I wanted to. Somehow it was hard for me. I mean, what could be bad if I just walked to him and congratulated him like everyone else?... I didn't know.

Maybe it's my reputation that held him back. I was the cool-looking musician. I played in a rock band. Girls were always scramming for us and half of them desperately wanted to date me. Or it could be my fear. I was so chicken out, thinking how people would react if they knew I liked a boy. I could have lost everything…my future, my music career, my reputation and such. Now when I think about it, it was so stupid of me. I do not need to fear anything at all. Even my fears couldn't stop me.

A week later I walked pass the soccer field again, hoping I got a chance to see him playing. That's all, really. I didn't expect something else, though I wouldn't say it went that bad.

I remembered that day I had so hard band rehearsal, not to mention the day was so hot that I was all sweats, even at night, and had a small towel around my neck. There he was… like I had heard other people saying that he was always the last one going home after soccer practice so that he could train himself more. I couldn't help smiling as I watched him running over the field…so lively, so happy.

That's when the winds blew strongly and forced my towel flit away. Over the field. I hurriedly ran to it, reaching out my hand to get it but it was so fast. Someone jumped up, catching it. I stopped myself before him. I was startled to see who it was as I gazed at those warm, beautiful cacao eyes I could drown myself in. The object of my dream…Yagami Taichi. I was so speechless…couldn't think of anything to say. Just stared at him like an idiot…

"_Is it yours?" he looked at me right in the eyes, handing it to me. I heard my heart beat loudly in my ears, felt my face warmer. _

"_Yes…" I managed to get answers off my mount, trying to calm my nerve down a bit. It was hard, though. "Thank you."_

"_No big deal!" he grinned widely, using the sleeve to rub the sweats off his face. However, I caught his hand before he could. He looked surprised at my behavior._

"_Don't do that." I said. "Your shirt is dirty. It's not healthy to do that. Here." At that, I cleaned his sweating face with my towel, rubbing it against his face gently. Something must take control over me because I did it unconsciously. At the moment I forgot all about everything around us and concentrated on him. Only him. When I realized what I was doing, I blushed. Good thing that he didn't see._

_Surprisingly, he let me do it. Just closing his eyes and letting me, looking so cute to top of everything. He reopened his eyes when I'd done. A sweet smile carving on his lips. An image to die for. I never forget that smile he gave me._

"_Thanks." The smile turned into his famous grin. "I'm Taichi. Yagami Taichi." He stuck out a hand to me. I nervously caught and shook it lightly._

"_Ishida Yamato."_

After that day, Taichi and I became friends. I could openly talk to him at school. We started to hang out with each other. I came to his soccer practice more often and always went to his every match. He came to my band practice whenever he had times and got so excited about our music. Luckily for me, my band mates didn't have a problem having him watch us practicing. Actually they kinda liked Taichi instantly they talked to him. Must have been because his attitude that won every heart around. Not much later we began spending the nights over each other's house, he to mine most of the time, saying he wanted to keep me company because my dad frequently wasn't home. It felt nice having him around.

There's a wonder how he could stand my bitchy mood /as my band mates called it at times/…no, actually he didn't just stood there and took it, sometimes, I mean, _most of the time_, he knocked some sense into me, in a hard way. Then we started to fight, got tried, apologized and befriends again. Amazing, hmm?

I'm so grateful that my mates are really cool about things. Or else I would be dead long times ago.

"_Will Taichi come today, Yamato?" Takashi asked out of the blue one evening._

"_I don't know…probably not. There's an important game coming next week. He says he needs training." I answered, noticing the looks they were giving me. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"_

"_Because you sound…and look disappointed." Akira grinned crookedly. I thought wryly he's up for something. "Is it because the certain someone isn't coming here?" _

_I almost dropped my precious bass right then. Turning to them, I asked. "What makes you think that?"_

"_You're blushing! Ah! I'm so right." As if to confirm Akira's words, my face went bright red._

"_It's so obvious." Yutaka replied, chuckling. "You always spend your time with him. Always talk about him. Know almost everything about him. You two argue and fight a lot, but able to reconcile less than two minutes. The longest was two days; then again you apologize at the same time. Oh, I haven't said you always want to keep him all to yourself. Don't tell me you don't know."_

_My eyes widened. Surprised? Shocked? I didn't know. They blasted out laughing suddenly. Akira the worst, rolling on the floor laughing too hard. I kept glaring at them until they could collect themselves again._

"_You should have seen your face. You looked so funny." Yutaka said, weeping tears off his eyes. Takashi and Akira nodded in agreement, still grinning. _

_Something weighted on my stomach. I needed to get it out so I asked. "…so you…umm…are you okay about this?"_

"'_bout what?"_

"_Me liking Taichi…I mean he's a guy and so am I…" I felt nervous in a sudden. God, what if they hated me for it?…what if they kicked me out? I didn't want that. A little voice in my head said they wouldn't but still… _

"_Why should we?" Akira simply shrugged. "Your life is yours. You can do whatever you want. I don't care if you are gay or not. You are our friend."_

_Takashi nodded. "Akira is right again. Don't worry about us, Yamato. We don't have a problem about your sexuality. To tell you the truth, we are kinda not straight ourselves."_

_I stared at them, shocked. Yutaka grinned. "Takashi and I are dating. Akira is bi."_

_What a surprised…no wonders why they could tell my secret. Akira put an arm over my shoulder. "We are a band, Yamato. Remember? We teamed the Teenage Wolves together; played music together. We would never be able to if we lost any of us." That crooked grin of his came back again, like it belonged to his face. "Now I think we have a new mission to get you and him together, right?" _

_I was still unsure. "What if people know?"_

"_Then we will get new kind of fans. Come on, it can be a test for us. If they really like our music, we will not lose them. And we can prove that we are good. The best even! Now let's talk about a plan to get Taichi…"_

It's good to have supporters, I think. We came up with lots of plans but none of them worked. Most of the time because either I failed them myself or Taichi was really too naïve…I never knew. Akira was furious. He was ready to tie us together and then lock us in a closet once since Taichi seemed to never get a hint. Good thing Takashi and Yutaka stopped him. They told me about Akira's plan. It's good for a laugh now, but back then it was real scary.

Taichi introduced a girl friend to me.

It wasn't the first time he introduced his close friends to me. He always did when he had chances. That's how I knew Koushirou, the computer genius, and Jyou, the doctor-to-be, and the soccer team players that I hardly remembered. And because of going to his home so many times, I met his precious little sister whom, I believe, Taichi wouldn't let any guy come near, Hikari. Surprisingly, she's a close friend with my brother, Takeru.

Her name was Takenouchi Sora. A very close friend of his since primary school. I remembered seeing her with him every once in a while. He said they used to play soccer together before Sora started to play tennis when they attended junior high school. She was the type of great student; do sports, never miss classes, keep good grades, nice behave and very popular.

First thing I thought when I saw them together was they looked so perfect like they were destined or something. Sora freely nagged Taichi about how unruly he looked and mothered him every chance she got. I felt a spark of jealousy got through me. So unfair. Just because she knew him longer and better than me didn't mean Taichi belonged to her.

Then again being in love with Taichi didn't mean he belonged to me either.

"_What's wrong, Yamato?" Taichi asked, concerned, looking at me._

_I snapped out off my thoughts. Sora was just walking away after talking to Taichi like hours. I stared at her back, almost wished that she never came back. Shaking my head a little, I shrugged. "Nothing." I said, acting cool, hoped he would drop this topic that led me to nowhere._

_But Taichi kept looking into my eyes. That made me nervous. It's like he could look through me, read my mind and see every part of me. But for some reasons, I couldn't look away._

"_There's something wrong. You just don't want to tell me." He said, never took he eyes off. I was startled. Since when he knew me so well? Maybe better than anyone. I kept my mount shut. He sighed. "I'm not going to make you tell me. You know I'll always be there for you no matter what, right?"_

_He looked so serious at once. And I could do nothing but nod. Taichi held his gaze for a moment then slowly grinned. "Come on, let's go to my house. I've downloaded a new game you'd like."_

_Deep in my heart I wished he meant more than the friend thing._

We spent that night beating each other's ass, having so good time. I totally forgot all about that Takenouchi girl as if she never existed. Though the next day I saw her talking with Taichi, I didn't have the need to kill her. I knew I would never lose my best friend. I began to befriend with her. And she was not that bad.

However, I should really considered killing her in the most terrible, hurtful way before the whole complicated mess took place.

It was Christmas Eve. The band had a big gig that I invited everyone to come, especially Taichi. He said he would never miss it and would come visit me before the gig started, so I kinda looked forward to his coming. I told my band mates this. They smirked, teasing me a bit then left to check the stage and instruments. To give us privacy, Akira said. I so expected it to be Taichi when the door opened. Never thought it would be someone else….definitely not Sora bringing her stupid cookies.

I remembered I was in a good mood waiting for my crush before her showing up. Though how irritated I felt, she was a good friend by then so I greeted her nicely. She said she just wanted to meet me early to give me my Christmas present, her homemade cookies.

"_Don't you want to try any?" she asked, looking nervous somewhat. I shrugged. That time I should have guessed she was up to something._

"_Sure." I ripped the paper off. Those cookies looked good and smelled great, it must be said. I took one and tasted it. Not bad, really. Very sweet, but far from my dislike. I was so observed to the taste to notice that she was getting closer and closer. _

"_Is it good?"_

"_Umm hmm."_

_As the last bit of the cookie was gone, I felt her lips on mine. What the fuck? _

"_Hey, Yamato! You in here? Oh! My…sorry…I'll leave you two alone…"_

_Bad enough to have someone I didn't have a feeling for kissing me. Worse, it was the very moment Taichi walked in, completely stunned and shocked. The worst was he ran away, mumbling apologies before I had a chance to say anything… what…I didn't know 'cause I was too stunned to get a word, too. _

_Sora let go off me then, looking shy but keeping her grip on my arms. "Sorry about it, Yamato-kun. But I've really liked you for a long time. More than friend. I want to tell you that. I hoped you feel the same."_

_Sora liked me? But… _

"…_But I thought you liked Taichi." I was so confused. It was hard to believe at the moment._

"_Taichi? No, he is just a good friend. You know, kind of like a brother." I didn't say anything else. She must take my silence in the wrong way because the next thing she said… "…Oh…so you thought…no, I'm not dating him. Don't worry." _

I didn't know what I should be worried. So I knew the fact that they weren't dating, but in this situation what made the difference? My crush walked in on me and his girl friend, whom, I assumed, he had a feeling for, kissing. I was so shocked. I didn't know what to do. One thing I knew was I had to tell Sora right away I never and would never saw her more than a friend. A rival, maybe. A lover? No way. Before I could say anything though, she left, saying she would be waiting for my answer….well… that was what she said.

Because after the holidays there was a rumor getting around school that Sora asked me out and I said yes. Could you believe it?

Taichi innocently did.

Taichi hadn't actually avoided me that time. He just…didn't look like himself. Less active, less talking, always lost in thoughts. Nothing like him at all. Especially when he wasn't happy or smiling. I didn't like it. I tried to talk to him, but he said he wanted to think.

A week later Taichi came to my house at night. From the look on his face I could tell he made up his mind on …something I didn't know yet. At least a bit part of him came back, I thought. Never once did I doubt that I would like it or not if I knew what he was determined to tell me. The next thirty minutes was the moment I wanted to go hang myself and prayed no one came save me.

"…_what were you saying again?" I asked, shocked._

"_I said I've heard you and Sora are going out. I want you both to be happy together. Sora is nice. I'm happy for you." _

_His words punctured my heart like a stuck lighting. God, it's hurt._

"_But…but I thought you liked her…" I mumbled uncertainly as I was trying to figure out what's going on._

"_Of course I like her. She's a good friend."_

"_No. I mean, really like her…love, maybe."_

_Taichi laughed lightly at my assumption. "You know what? People have been asking me that all days. I do love her but not the way you thought. We're too close to be anything but friends. Personally, I think she's like Hikari…like an older sister that I never have by the way she acts." There's nothing but sincerity shining in his eyes. When I didn't recover from the shocked, he laughed more. "Don't worry about me. All I want is your happiness."_

His words strongly stuck in my heart and never left my mind. He wanted me to be happy. But how could I be happy when the person I wholeheartedly wanted to be with was him, not Sora, not everyone else. How could he not see that? I could almost be angry at him if I wasn't busy utterly mad at myself for not telling him the way I felt, the person I loved, the thing I wished for.

Though I had to admit, knowing Taichi didn't have feelings for Sora was quite a relief.

Taking the fact that I didn't deny the rumor, Sora claimed me as her boyfriend. All students believed. I sworn it was only because I didn't still get over the shock from my secret love's speech. And when I could comprehend again, it was too late. Another thing was that I was coward.

When Akira had heard about this, he nearly bit my head off if not for Takashi and Yutaka, again, stopped him. I told them everything; about what Taichi told me and Sora's confession. Akira called Sora stupid and too blind to see the true things. But one thing he gave her credit for was the confession she made to me. I had to admit he was right. In this point, she was braver than I was, for forcing herself to tell the one she loved. I knew how hard it got to be. Talk about experiments. Though things were quite different. For one thing, Sora was a girl and I a guy. It's very natural for people from opposite sex to be in love.

Which meant my love for Taichi was something very physically wrong. I knew, but I didn't care. They say there's nothing wrong in love, don't they? So how could you blame me? Than I might be the one that foolishly blind with love. I'd rather be than having to love someone else.

Sora began to come to our practice, bringing her food or drinks or whatever. She said she just wanted to see me, probably to spend some times together, knowing how busy I was. She insisted on coming, even though I said she didn't have to, with the caring smile on her face. She left when Akira said we needed to practice in privacy. I knew he didn't mean to hurt her and we did need the privacy, Taichi was in the special case, I couldn't help feeling sorry for her.

I realized it wasn't her fault for having feeling for me. So was it my fault for being in love with someone who was a guy and especially not her? Was it my fault for unable to return her feeling? Takashi said it wasn't; it's just the way things are. When you love someone sexually, there are only two options; they love you back or they don't. He said I didn't need to worry as long as I followed my heart. Because sometimes reasons are unreasonable but your heart never lie. I was so grateful of his advice. I've never forgotten it even now.

I knew I should have done something before things got rotten, however, being idiot me, I sort of ignored it until it was too late.

To be continued…

Redvind: see what I mean?

Koromon: not quite…what about you guys? turn to the readers with puppy eyes


	2. Chapter 2

Redvind: Stupid Mistake chapter two, I can't believe it! I got it done!

Koromon: let's not waste time here! You know the disclaimer; if Digimon belonged to Red, we're all doom! Glad it didn't happen.

Redvind: Hey!

wmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwm

Taichi started dating a girl.

I didn't know when or how it happened. First I thought it was just a kind of jokes, you know, just some gossips which went around school every here and there. I still didn't believe it, thinking if Taichi would go out with someone, he'd have told me. I was his best friend after all.

She was a friend of Sora that I couldn't remember the name of. Did I need to? Hell, even now I still can't recognize her face. Back to the story, I suspected either Sora introduced her to Taichi on purpose or her friend asked her to. They decided to befriend, Taichi told me this. Then later she started to hang out with him more and more; to his soccer practice, his class, his free time and sometimes when he's at my band rehearsal, clearly obvious that she wanted to be more than a friend to him. At first I didn't think anything of that. Because somehow I did believe that Taichi would never have interested in going out with her. She wasn't like his type. And you know what? I was so wrong. Taichi seemed to like her enough to be her boyfriend.

"_Yamato…"_

"_Hmm?"_

"…_chan asked me out. We're going to see the movie tomorrow."_

I was jealous. Furiously jealous.

That she could do what I'd really loved to do; to be with him in every single moment, to say I love him and hear those words in return, to tell the world he's mine and mine alone. Most of all, I wanted him to look at me the way I look at him, with love and passion, never wanted his eyes on somebody else…like when he was looking at her. Soft and tender, care and love…everything!

I was so mad, so angry, but where could I take this anger off? I could have been angry at the girl who stole Taichi from me. Then again, she just did what she set her heart on and accomplished successfully. Could I really blame her on this? No. so whom should it be?

Me, of course.

For being a coward of afraid of telling the one I loved my true feeling toward him, for doing nothing until it's too late. Pain and hurt haunted me to no end. I couldn't bear seeing them together, so I needed to get my head out by something I already had. Namely, music, cooking and…Sora. Surprisingly, my band mates said no words to this although Akira looked like he wanted to choke me to death lovingly.

It wasn't as bad as I sometimes thought. Sora was a nice girl, mature and understanding. She wanted to help me with everything I got through and she left me alone when I told her I wanted to be. If it was Taichi, he would bug me, trick me or annoy me until I gave in telling him what's on my system, or he would just be there with me, staying quiet, hardly happened though. Yeah right. I couldn't help comparing Taichi and Sora. I did feel guilty once or twice. But it's not her fault, and certainly not mine, that I deeply wished she were Taichi. We still spent times together, though less than ever. Maybe it's because of how things meant to be. Days passed, season changed.

And I let things be.

Taichi broke up with his girlfriend. Or rather, she broke up with him.

He came to my house one night without calling or anything. My friend just showed up at my door, looking sad, soaked all over. It was raining cats and dogs. I was superbly surprised, didn't expect anyone, not even him, to be out in the almost storm night.

"_Taichi?" I exclaimed as I opened the door. _

"…_Yamato?" He looked at me as if wondering where he was. I pulled him inside immediately, shocked to see pain and confusion in his cacao eyes._

"_Come on in! You are so soaked! I can't believe you were out. Can't you see it's raining?" _

"…_sorry…" it sounded so meek. Not like him at all. I wanted to ask, but it's not the time for questions so I didn't say anything, just pushed him in the bathroom quickly. _

"_Get in. Take off your clothes. I will find something for you. Just warm yourself up. I guess you want to spend the night?" he numbly nodded. "Fine. I will call your family." I said, shutting the door. A few minutes later, I heard the water running. Good. At least he was still capable of taking care of himself._

_I went to my room to find some clothes that Taichi would sleep in just fine. I found a shirt and sweatpants. They were old, but in the suitable state._

"_Hope he can fit in." I mumbled._

_I knocked the bathroom's door twice before getting in, calling. "Taichi, I will leave the clothes here, okay?" no answers. Great. _

_He came out a bit later, looking warmer already. Water dropping from his dim hair which he had to rub off. I gave him a cup of warm cacao that I had made earlier. I knew he loved it._

"_Thanks." He said, smiling a bit. I nodded in return._

_We went to sit at the couch, side by side. Apart from the fact that he still didn't talk, I quite liked the moment. Just him and me…us, together. And I really wanted nothing more._

_After sitting in silence for almost two hours, Taichi was ready to talk. He started quietly. "…chan and I broke up."_

"_What?" I asked, disbelieving. "How did it happen?" _

_He laughed bitterly. "Come on, Yamato. She said it's obvious." Taichi took a deep breath, continuing. "That I took her like a sister."_

_I didn't understand…_

"…_she said whenever we were together, she felt like she was with a big brother. 'Cause I didn't want to go any further than hugging and holding hands. And I never looked at her like a boyfriend was supposed to…." He sighed. "She can't take it. She wants someone who loves her, really loves her. So we decided to break up for good." _

_His eyes slowly dropped, head falling on my lap. I didn't complain. It felt great actually. To know that he relaxed when he's around me and trusted me enough to show his weak moment._

_Taichi closed his eyes, but I knew he wasn't sleeping, yet. I gently ran my fingers through his hair. It felt so soft. Another list to add in my liking about him. He didn't say anything, just letting me do it. That reminded me of the first time we actually met. I used to think I was almost over him._

_I was so wrong. My feeling for him never faded away, only to get stronger…_

"_You'll be fine, Taichi." I said, trying to sooth him even a little. "You're not the only one. It's always hurt at first. Trust me, you will be alright in no time." Taichi lit up his eyes and stared at mine as if he was searching for something. Too bad, I couldn't look away. _

"_It's not that, Yamato…" he was choosing words to say. "…to be honest…deep down, I always knew this would come up sooner or later. I just…never thought of the reason… like this." Closing his eyes again, he continued. "She's funny, kind and nice. I thought I liked her and it's alright to go out with her. I'd never known, for all the time that I saw her as a sister. I care for her, really, but now I hurt her. Stupid me..." he drifted off, very fast asleep. _

_I kept rubbing his hair a bit, thinking of my own. One word came in my head 'Hikari'. It made me understand suddenly. All smile, love and care I saw he give her was exactly like the ones for Hikari. Maybe she was right; I heard they say girls have special sense about this kind of things. _

_Taichi looked vulnerable in his sleep right there. He must have taken things about this very seriously. I couldn't help myself when I saw his look. 'Just once' I prayed. I kissed his forehead gently, careful not to disturb him. It could have been only my imagination, but I sworn I saw an appropriate tiny smile playing on his lips._

Though I saw that my best friend was still sad about the whole thing, he was gradually recovering, almost back to his old-self. He blamed himself for what happened between them-he never admitted that but I knew. I wished I could be a better help than just being there for him. Nevertheless, it was something he needed to get over by himself. Taichi, in that current state, stayed single and that fact alone pleased lots of girls…dare I say, in addition, some of the guys, too.

We spent much time together, just like the time before Sora, unintentionally, ruined everything. She still hung out with me; something about her statement as 'my' girlfriend, I thought. At the beginning I particularly dragged him to sit with us /cough:me:cough/ whenever I saw him walking alone, which was rare, however, 'cause I tended to meet him after his classes to make sure he's never alone.

Sora, being a friend of both sides, knew about their breaking up pretty well. She was glad I got Taichi to be around- at first, though. Lately she became quiet and less happy, more of annoyance if I got it right. One word: girls. No offends here. You know how they are. She tried to drop a hint wanting to be alone with me without being rude and hurting Taichi.

Taichi caught on in the beginning. He's more considerate than people gave him credit for. He kinda began to isolate himself, frequently saying he had something to do whenever I invited him. Even if I said I'd love him to come or Sora, deep down very glad but didn't let it show, politely said he's welcome, he still insisted he's alright now and Sora and I should have a real date without him around.

So it's almost like Sora got a permission to drag me with her. She held on it terribly good. I didn't know how but she knew my entire schedule. She would ask if I would like to go out later. She was very clever though, for she asked me as she knew she would get a back-up; Taichi sort of gladly handed me to her.

I was so helpless in the situation, unable to protest or complain. Taichi believed Sora and I loved each other and tried to be a good supporter. My heart ached when I heard him say that. I watched as he spoke. Nothing but clear and firm sincerely burning in his eyes. For only a blink I thought I saw something else blurring, but it quickly faded. It must have been my imagination.

So I ended up having to go out with Sora for a couple of times. We went to the mall so that Sora could buy her new clothes. She tried on a few of them and asked my opinion which I answered lamely. All I wanted was to be anywhere but there. Still, I had to admit that sometimes I did enjoy myself choosing clothes. I brought a few of mine and once I found the blue shirt that suitably fit Taichi, I stared at it a couple of minutes before Sora dragged me out.

Anything had to come back to him, right?

Weeks later, a soccer tournament was coming up.

Taichi, being the star of the team, spent most of his times practicing. I watched him running hours and hours. Unbelievably, I told him I would die of running if I were him. He laughed good-heartedly, saying that it made him alive. I didn't understand so he explained that he loved the feeling of getting wind on his face, through his hair, blowing away the heat. He loved the feeling of his legs running faster and faster than he normally did… faster than anyone did. Loved the sight of enormous, clear, blue sky when no one was ahead. Loved the feeling when he shot the goal. Nothing could ever be better.

To be honest I didn't quite understand whatever he said, but I could tell from the look on his face. Frankly, I had witnessed with my own eyes. When I first fell in love with this guy…

I didn't mind a thing. How should I since I got his old self back? I'm telling you he got that famous smile on his face again. I was so overjoyed. Couldn't exactly remember the last time I saw him sincerely happy and seeing him happy again made me happy. I was beginning to believe that his happiness is like a disease; I'm happy when he's happy. Get my point?

Wait a minute…since when I got _Taichi infection_?

At the beginning, I supposed.

Using to play soccer herself, Sora knew how much it meant for Taichi and for the whole school. She supported the team wholeheartedly, often brought them some food, and watched their practice. She particularly dragged me to it and never mentioned it if I went there myself.

Taichi was amazing on the field. Very outstanding. Very graceful. I've always known that. Soccer was his life. He practiced hard day by day, sometimes late at night and often in the morning. The teammates, not wanting to be left behind and impressed by his effort, joined him in his private practices. None of them complained about the tough schedule or the pain they got. They mostly laughed and chatted cheerfully, joking at it. Such sprit.

So far, his team won every match, just like how they deserved. Sora and I went to see Taichi playing, never missed a single game. Damn, he was the best player I'd seen. He played fair. Everybody loved him. There's a rumor that the current team's captain eyed Taichi for taking over the position when he's retried. Someone established his fan club joining by guys and girls but most surprisingly kids from Odaiba junior high school's and Odaiba elementary school's soccer clubs. He was like their hero. Some had come up to him telling they wanted to be just like him. Taichi warmly gave them a big, glorious, grateful smile, making them happy for days.

Compared to my fans, his fans were very nice. Most of mine were as crazy as they were scary sometimes.

They continuously won therefore everybody just supposed Odaiba's soccer team reach to the top. As long as Taichi was there, they needed not to worry. None expected the worst.

You would never know.

Hikari had an accident; a car ran over her, an exact week before his final match.

She got a broken leg, her body contained pus and blood all over, her back badly injured, and her head was spilt and needed to be stitched. That's all I'd heard. I doubted if there were more wounds than they appeared. Taichi never told me.

It happened in a rainy Sunday. The street was wet all over exactly and pretty slippy. They said that Hikari was looking at window displays at some shop in the town when a car lost control, got on the footpath, crushing her hard. If the ambulance didn't get her in hospital just in time, the girl could have been dead.

It rang a bell to me. I did remember the ambulance's siren that day Sora dragged me out again. We saw it drive pass us, wondering if someone had just had an accident. I'd never thought it would be Taichi's little sister.

When I got home and checked the phone; there was a call from Takeru, his voice cracked and uncertain, telling me that Hikari-chan was badly hurt and he didn't know what to do, plus Taichi hadn't spoken anything to anyone since they got to the hospital. That's enough to get alert.

Running all the way there, I rushed in the hospital as soon as possible in the rain. It's the day I could careless about my impressive look. I was soak, muddy, looking so much like a drown rat that the nurse almost didn't let me in if not for Takeru told her that I was his brother and the patient's brother's best friend.

I saw Taichi sitting outside the room. The operation wasn't over, yet. Anyone didn't come out. He looked miserable, covering his face in both his hands, head lowed. My friend didn't look up when I approached him. Hell, he didn't even acknowledge I was there!

"_Taichi…" I called out, voice barely above whisper. My throat was dry. I had no idea what to say to him. I didn't want to say it would be alright, just in case it wouldn't. I couldn't say everything was fine and getting better when I myself didn't believe the words. So I simply sat next to him, reaching for him and held him tight in my arms. He didn't seem to mind my soaking, muddy state…or just didn't care for anything right then._

_Takeru was anxious waiting for the Yagami and the other in the main hall. _

_We sat in dead silence._

"…"

_I thought I heard him say something. "Yes? Taichi?"_

"_It's my fault." He said, emotionlessly at first. It's the sigh before the damn broke. "It's my fucking fault she's got hurt!"_

"_No, it's not…" I tried, but he cut me off._

"_YES IT IS!" he shout, tears brimming his eyes, not yet came out. "If only I hadn't left her by herself, she wouldn't get hurt! If only I had been there protecting her, she wouldn't be here right now! In the scary operation room!"_

I hugged him tighter, buried his face in my shoulder. He needed to cry, really needed to. Because if he didn't, he would erupt in some ways or others. I didn't want him to do that when I was not around.

But he wouldn't let it out. He was holding it all back; his sadness, his anger, his distress. Not even in front of me, his best friend. I thought he trusted me enough to show his weak moment. No. I mean, he did trust me. He opened up to me earlier. Remember the night after his breaking up? He let me comfort him, like a friend would do to his friend. I guess this time was another condition.

I didn't understand. How come he had to act strong and didn't take any comfort when he absolutely needed it? No one stopped him. I wouldn't stop him; on the other hand, comfort was what I would be willing to give naturally.

It's hurt, like someone was squeezing my heart, to see the boy I loved hurting himself.

Despite his mental suffering, he was rambling, sounding crocked and hardly able to understand clearly, about what had happened. I caught a few words and assumed the story. It's like Taichi and Hikari were on a sibling date, shopping together or something. He went to get her a drink when he heard the clash sound so he quickly returned and saw her body covering in blood. Everything was red before his eyes since then.

I kept patting his back, soothing him, and said nothing. He calmed down, even the slightest but it's a good sign. Now he was sobbing lightly, no tears, his body rocked as he took a deep breath. I thought he was trying to cool himself down, not wanting to be a crybaby in front of anyone. Not that I cared if he was anyway. I wanted him to be…wished he could cry in front of me…

Taichi's parents arrived as the doctor came out, ready to move Hikari to another room. They had a talk. All I remembered was the doctor said everything went okay, but Hikari's condition was unsure. She needed to be in hospital under individual care. When the talk was over, Taichi's parents took us home. He didn't look up when I said good night, so caught up in thought.

Since Hikari's accident, Taichi's life divided on three place; school, soccer practice and hospital. He was hardly at home. His days were like, waking up, practicing, going to classes, having lunch, more classes, practicing more, heading to hospital, staying there until a nurse telling him the visit hour was off and going home for food and rest. If he wasn't doing something, his head was occupied with Hikari's well-being.

In that case, Taichi drown himself into study and soccer practice, ignoring his parents telling him to get more rest. He had dark cycle under his eyes. Visiting Hikari became a duty routine. A few days passed, I went to visit Hikari chan with him and had noticed that his face got sadder every time he came and his sister's condition wasn't improving. He was exhausted both physically and mentally. You guess what?

I had had enough.

By the end of the forth day, I particularly kicked his ass telling him a piece of my mind.

"_OI! Yamato! What was that for?" Taichi glared at me from the ground, rubbing his face where I lashed at him. _

"_What do you think?" I asked, trying hard to suppress the irritation I felt._

_He glazed at me coldly. It's not something anyone got to see often. It's not that I took it gladly at the moment._

_Maintaining the glaze, he slowly got up, dusting his pant all along. "I don't know what to think of that. Why don't you just tell me? In an excellent reason, especially?"_

_His voice was just as cold as his eyes, threatening to do any destruction he could demand. Wow, two scores in one day. I was really that great. _

"_Of course you don't." I snorted. "You don't know a thing! Have you ever looked around lately! Have you ever acknowledged what was happening around you! Instead of looked dead and gloomy with that label 'I'm a bastard who hurt my little sister' on your forehead?"_

"_Yamato-" his eyes narrowed. I didn't stop._

"_No, Taichi. Listen to me." I snapped. "You selfish thickhead. You think you're worried about Hikari alone, hum? Wrong. Everyone's worried, too! Takeru's worried. Your parents are worried! I'm worried! There's no need to make anyone to worry about you, too!"_

"_I didn't ask anyone to worry about me…" he stubbornly said, but he didn't look at me. Taichi knew very well this was the stupid thing to say._

"_Your not asking doesn't mean they can't be worried." I said firmly. His eyes narrowed, teeth gritting. He said nothing. He didn't have anything to object to this._

"_I…" he tightened his fists, slightly shaking. _

"_Stop doing this, Taichi." I stepped closer as I said, watching him every move. "Stop being stubborn. Stop taking everything to yourself." _

_He stood there, trembling. And I reached for him. I wanted to show him how much I cared…to show him, but as I was about to hold him, Taichi broke lose for my grab. _

"_YOU CANNOT FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" he shout, eyes cold and hard and narrowing at me dangerously. I winced. Not because of his shouting, but his look. God! He looked like he'd already lost his beloved thing! "I don't understand what you mean. I don't care! Better leave me alone!"_

"_Taichi! Don't be a smart ass!"_

"_So I'm a smart ass now, hmm? Glad you got it!"_

"_Will you stop this, Taichi?"_

"_And you tell me to stop doing this stop doing that! What exactly? Caring about my sister!"_

"_That's not what I mean!"_

"_Then what?"_

"_Taichi, this argument leads us to nothing…"_

"_If you know so, why don't you just quit it? See you later, Yamato."_

_Before he started to run off, I charged him off guard forcefully. He gave out a startled cry, unexpected this. Neither did I. for a moment I didn't care. I didn't care how stupid I must look like now, didn't care about the reputation I had been holding for long, didn't care if someone saw me like this. Fuck it all. Nothing did matter to me._

_Just him._

_We practically rolled on each other on the road to the slope, down to the riverside, later I found us stop a few feet away, he still struggling against me, trying to break free. Even in the situation like this, his stubbornness displayed. No such way I would let him go. I pinned him down, holding his shoulders in firm grip. I waited. Knowing he didn't stand a chance, he unwillingly surrendered, facing away from me. None of us talked. Fine by me. I needed time to calm down myself, not wanting him to shut me out than he already did. He looked ready to listen…at least, if not counting for the angry frown on his forehead._

"…_funny as it seems, I just happen to feel like a deja vu, with alternative roles." I felt his body tensed beneath me, then relaxed again. "Remember when I threw a boiling fist because some stupid jerks tried to pick on Takeru?" Sighing, he turned to face me directly. The tension was still there, but softened. He knew what I was going to say. "Remember how you stopped me? Remember what you said?"_

_He slowly nodded. I gave a small smile._

"…_yeah, I told you to stop being a bitch…that Takeru could take care of himself."_

"_Right. That time I just didn't want to listen. I thought it's my duty to protect him. I was so angry that you told me to let Takeru handle everything on his own and only to get involve when he asked."_

"_So I had to beat you up to have you seen my point." _

_My smile grew wider. "And you were right. Takeru could handle it pretty well. I still can't believe how he managed to blackmail those jerks on the shit they did. I used to think he's an angel!"_

_Taichi cracked a little laugh. I took it as a good sign._

"…_sorry…/snicker/…can't help it…"_

"_It's okay." I loosed the grips a bit, but still held on him just in case. "It's alright, Taichi." Saying gently, I looked at him in the eyes. They became cloudy as his laugh died down._

"…_what if it isn't?" he said._

"_It will be." I cut in. "Though Hikari isn't waking up yet, there's a sign that nothing goes worse."_

"…_it's not getting better either…" _

_I bit the bottom lip. Couldn't argue here._

"…_she shouldn't have been there at the first place…" his voice sounded faint. Please, not again. Despite my unspoken pray, he continued. "…It's all my fault…"_

"_No, it's not!"_

"_It is…" Taichi sneered bitterly. "I should have taken her with me…shouldn't have left her there alone…" _

"_It's not." I confirmed. "No one wanted the accident happened. If there's someone to blame, it's that asshole who ran her over. Not you. Totally not. And another thing, no one can change the past so don't blame yourself on something you couldn't control over."_

_He wanted to believe that, too, wanted so much that it made him tremble because something was holding him back, wouldn't let him. "…what if…what if…" _

"_Hikari is a strong girl, Taichi." I said, soothingly. "I don't know her well like you do, but I have, many times, seen her strong will inside. I believe even now she is fighting for life. Just like the way her brother taught her." _

"_I…"_

"_Come on, Taichi. Don't lose her now. Never ever."_

"…_but…but…what if…"_

"_You're lots of buts there days. What is it?"_

_His mount opened, then closed. He was struggling whether or not to tell me this. His most fear. His worst nightmare. He gulped some air._

"_What if…she… hates me ….for leaving her…"_

"_She would never hate you, Taichi. Don't you see she isn't a goner yet? It means she doesn't want to leave you. Trust me." _

_At that, it was like everything collapsed down completely. Tears were seeking ways through his eyes, wetting his cheeks. I pulled him up with startled hands. He let it out, mumbled against my shoulder as he was sobbing. I hugged him tight, running my hand through his hair until he's done._

Deep inside me, I felt somewhat satisfied with my attempt.

When the night fell, I urged him to stand and walked him home. He looked tried, about to be asleep any minute. At his doorstep, Taichi thanked me and apologized at the same time, voice cracked from crying out. I wanted to pull him in my embrace once again but restrained myself. Instead, I patted his shoulder in friendly manner, blessing him good night. We never mentioned that evening. I knew we didn't have to.

Taichi was doing better, less acting fake and be more like his optimistic self. The dark cycles under his eyes were faded. He rested more, with every chance he got; most of the time was in class period. Either the teachers just let him or they ignore him…I didn't care. As long as he didn't get detention.

The final soccer match came faster than I would have thought.

Both his parents couldn't come. His father had work and his mother stayed with Hikari at the hospital. Takeru didn't come, too, saying he wanted to pay Hikari a visit. Taichi didn't seem to mind. He'd rather stay with her himself. He neither looked nervous nor confident; obviously he spent his time space out. He would look at his cell phone /that I'd talked him for _ages_ to have one/ and grabbed it like his life depended on it. He barely nodded at my and Sora's present to wish him good luck.

The game started a bit later after Sora and I found our seats. It was a tight match. The opposite team was also talented, strong and well-managed. The cheer would get exploded continuously if one of the players from each site was going to score then came with the loud groan in disappoint when the ball missed the goal or the goal keeper got it. My observation was right as the score was still 0-0 after the half time's break. All players were soaking with sweat and panting hard. Taichi's not an exception.

The whistle blow, the player ran to the field to their position. I noticed that Taichi had moved to the front. Um-uhh, maybe they'd changed plan. The game was playing faster and harder. I lost sight of my best friend once twice. Not only because he ran so fast, but the opponents also tried to block him, making it difficult for him to move easily.

Eventually, fifteen minutes later, the captain of the other team shot the first score.

The mournful groan was mixed with the joyful cheer and the happy laugh. I bit my lips, feeling nervous in the sudden. The time was tide. There's a slim chance that the Odaiba high school team would win now. But I didn't want him to lose the game, not when he deserved it most.

The team's coach called his team to gather together. I saw him talk directly to Taichi as my cell phone rang. I picked it up.

"_Hello?"_

"_Nii san! They say Hikari chan shows some sign of consciousness. She is probably going to wake up!"_

No more words to be told. I got up immediately and clumsily walked /the crowd made it hard to **run**/ to get through to the team. Taichi needed to hear this!

I didn't expect to see him bowing his head to his teammates. In the polite manner of request. So someone had told him already. Still facing down, he repeated over and over, asking to be let go to the hospital, to see his sister. I was studded.

I knew he cared for Hikari…but I never guessed…that he would abandon his important game. Since he knew she's alright, I thought he would give the full concentration on it. I was so wrong. He wanted to be there for her, to make sure that she was really waking up. He **loved** her that much.

So what could I do? I stepped to his side and bowed my head, asking them to give him his request. Damn, I'd never thought I'd do this for anyone. We waited anxiously. This was a big major case; not much time left, still behind the other team and if they let Taichi go, it's like the door to become the winner was shut off. I understood, so did Taichi. The team had the right to keep him here since Hikari was safe anyway. To my surprise, the captain told us to look up and go.

"_You can't fully concentrate on the game anyway."_

"…_captain…"_

"_Don't worry, Taichi." Another teammate popped up, an arm cycling Taichi's shoulder. "We will beat them for good. Go see your sister. Tell her we say hi!"_

_He looked around. The team nodded, encouraging him. His mount twisted slightly._

"_Thank you very much!" _

We broke a run to the entrance right away since Taichi got their permission, I followed him. I had to catch him and push him in a taxi before he determined to run all the way. On the ride, I noticed he was holding his hands, trembling, head down in kind of a prayer. He's scared in uncertainty. I drew him close for his comfort though I had to admit I liked it, too.

Taichi obviously couldn't wait for me to pay for the drive, which took only thirty seconds, and straightly dragged me behind him. It was a marvel how I was able to keep up with him. We ran through the lobby, got everyone's eyes on us strangely as we did and ignored the nurse scolding for making noises completely. We didn't take a bother at them. Taichi only slowed down when we were in front of the door. He looked suddenly uneasy, took a deep breath or two to clear his mind off terrible thoughts.

I reached for his hand.

He looked up at me, surprised and all. I just smiled encouragingly, holding it gently and placed it on the door knob. He returned a small smile. He could get over this. He turned the knob and in a blink it was pushed open, letting us step in.

Taichi was greeted by a miracle. A most incredibly amazing one.

Laying there on the bed was a recovering Hikari who was awake; her eyes half-lid, looking tried and injured, but on one could miss a sweet, happy, little smile appearing on her little lips.

"_Hikari…" Taichi whispered, hardly audibly as if afraid that his eyesight playing tricks on him. _

"…_Onii chan…" she weakly stretched out her hand. Unconsciously, Taichi walked over to her, reaching for it, grabbing it. He squeezed it tight, making sure he wasn't dreaming. _

_It was not a dream. Nor was a nightmare that kept waking him all nights._

_It was real._

_To get a better angle, he got on his knees, holding her hand and not even once letting it go as though if he did, Hikari would be taken away. _

"…_you are warm…" he said faintly. _

_Hikari giggled. "So are you."_

_They exchanged their smile. Taichi blinked, then a drop of tear was making its way down his face. _

_I watched the screen in astonishment I almost forgot to breathe. All things in the world I thought were beautiful couldn't compare to the couple of sibling before me right now._

"_Umm…as much as I don't want to break a beautiful moment, but the doctor wants to check on Hikari chan."_

_Startled, I turned to the direction the voice of my little brother came from. There stood he, grinning sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. It was then I noticed that there were indeed some people in the room with us—the Yagami's mother, a doctor, a nurse and some of Hikari's friends._

_Feeling a bit embarrassing, Taichi got up from his spot and let the doctor to take over his place, blushing cutely. He was quickly on the other side of the bed where his mom was. Happy laugh filled the room._

_Takeru chuckled in amusement. "It's like watching a happy ending movie, isn't it?"_

It was.

But I soon discovered later, that lives are not movies. It's not an ending.

Only the beginning.

wmwmwmwmwmwmmwmw

Redvind: finished! Suck, though. /run away to find a hide place to die in shame/

Koromon: comments are welcome! Let us know what you think! Either good or bad, we will take it. /dragging a sulking Redvind from air raid shelter/ see ya when Red decides not to be a lazy ass again!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Digimon isn't mine, mine, mine (echo sound).

**Stupid mistake **By Redvind

There're lots of mystery things in the world that you never know until you've finally met them. Like I did, right now.

I could never have guessed that my mind would be so jealous of someone I shouldn't have been jealous of.

I was totally jealous of Hikari.

I knew the reason why I shouldn't; first of all, she's his only, lovely little sister. That led to the second reason, she lived in the same roof and got to eat and spend times with Taichi like every time I got to see when I went to his house. Third, she's a very nice and sweet girl and it's definitely clear that my best friend adored her highly. And there're also hundreds to thousands lists of how nice she was….

…

Maybe I had reasons to be jealous after all. Having no clues? Go read above.

Okay then, back to my point of pointing that out, Hikari got her brother all to herself.

Well, it might not be the right word to say. However, that's what I felt…like she got to keep him to her alone. Since the day she awoke, Taichi had been babied her almost 24/7, seven days a week and spent every second with her when he took routine visit. He kept asking her what she wanted and almost determined to make her eat more food than the hospital provided even though Hikari confirmed him that she was full and couldn't take even a bit more. Sometimes, Taichi also fed her.

And me? I quietly watched the scene. I couldn't just say that I wanted him to treat me like that, too, right?

Damnit.

In contrast to the Taichi I had known…well, judging by the way he fussed over his little sister, I doubted he would set his eyes on any girl sexually. The benefit of having a lovely sister is that a guy can learn how to treat girls nicely. Taichi probably treated them like he did to Hikari. His ex-girlfriend was a good example. No wonder why Taichi couldn't go out with girls.

I'm not implying anything. Whatever you think.

I almost wondered what he would do if he had had a brother…better not fuss over me or any of his male friends. That'd be a bit scary. Image a brother being so protective and always keeping you in sight and telling you what to do for your good sake…

Hey, wait a minute. That sounded familiar….

Whatever. Forget it.

Back to the lovely sibling. Hikari didn't seem to be uncomfortable with everything. Honestly, I thought she loved it when Taichi took great care of her. I didn't say that she liked to be self-centered or anything. It's probably because since Taichi got in high school, he had been so busy to spend times with her like old days. And she loved every minute of it. Even though there were times when I caught something in her eyes when she looked at me. It looked like sympathy. I had a clue that she wanted to talk to me.

I was right. On what-so-ever time of visit, she asked Taichi for her favorite brand jelly. An excuse to make him leave and to talk to me alone. Before Taichi left, though, he made me promise to look after his sister while he's gone.

"_Onii chan is so overprotective at a time, ne?"_

_I nodded._

"_He always puts everyone before himself."_

_Her tone changed. I turned to look at her in wonder. Hikari stared back at me. Her eyes told me she was up to something but not going to directly tell me until I discovered it myself. That's…weird._

"_Well, he's Taichi. We know what he's like." I said, feeling a bit uncomfortable under her stare._

_Hikari nodded. "He cares for everyone and wants to make them happy." She looked down, smiling sadly. "…even if it means he has to be the one who gets hurt."_

_I stared at her, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, Hikari looked up at me again and smiled innocently._

"_Ano, Yamato san. Can I ask you for an advice?"_

_I certainly didn't expect this. "What kind of advice?" I asked, puzzled._

"_Love advice."_

_I'd never thought someone would ask me for love advice. And it came from Hiakri, my protective best friend's little sister, I didn't know I should be flattered or worried. If I said something and she succeed at following it, Taichi'd kill me. Likewise, if I said something and it didn't work, Taichi'd probably kill me for giving useless advice. Either way, I'd be dead. _

_Thinking it over, I assumed that telling Hikari to ask someone else, namely Sora or Miyako- Hikari's older friend, would be nicer. They're girls. They would understand her problem. If she needed a guy advice, I might tell her to ask Taichi- he's likely to be mad at first, but he would get over it eventually, or Akira- he had gone to a few dates with girls so he would know better. What about me? Well, to consider that the person I had romantic feeling toward for was a guy and that I was in the relationship I was unwillingly forced into, I wasn't the best of choices. _

_My face must have looked really dumb because Hikari started giggling. I made a face at her._

"_I don't think I can give you one. Taichi will kill me if he knows. Why don't you ask someone else, like Sora or Miyako?"_

_She kept smiling. "Because I need a guy advice."_

_Just as I thought. "You better ask your brother, then."_

"_But then he would get a wrong idea and might start stalking me to see who I refer to."_

_Umm, that's reasonable. Even though I didn't think that my best friend would do that, there's a chance he might as well to scan every man in Hikari's life. Better safe than sorry._

"_Fine." I sighed. I couldn't get out of this. "What is it?"_

_Hikari giggled lightly. "Don't worry, Yamato san. I want to ask for a friend of mine, not for myself."_

_I felt the corner of my lips twisted. _

"_Why didn't you say that it's for your friend first?" I asked, a bit irritated. _

"_I just want to see your reaction." _

_I began to believe that her smile wasn't always angelic. Had Takeru rubbed off on her? Or was it her brother? _

"_Well, there's a friend of mine…" she started._

"_I already know that, Hikari. Get to the point." I didn't want to rush her, but if she didn't want Taichi to know about this, then we didn't have so much time before he came back._

"…_Okay. My friend is dating someone."_

_I raised an eyebrow. That was so normal. "And?"_

"_And I think she loves someone else."_

_So that's the problematic part. "You think?"_

_Hikari shook her head. "I'm quite certain that my friend is in love with this person though she never says anything."_

_Where had I heard this before? I frowned a little, leaning closer. "Why is that?"_

"_Because that person is her best friend. And the one she's dating is another close friend of them."_

_I fell from the chair instantly. That sounded **way** too familiar. _

_Hikari looked at me in bewilderment, blinking. She seemed surprised by my falling, like she didn't expect this._

"_Something wrong, Yamato san?" she asked, tilting her head a little, reminding me of Taichi when he was confused about something. _

_Then again, I had leaned that never let the innocent face get me. Go ask Takeru._

_At the moment I felt paranoia as I observed her. Was it really about her friend or… I shook my head. Hikari was like her brother- she was particularly raised by him, if she wanted to ask, she'd do it directly…just not as bluntly. _

_I regained myself. "I…guess I see the problem. So you want me to give an advice…"_

_Hikari nodded. "Yeah. What should she do?"_

_What should she do? What **should** she do? If I could answer that, shouldn't I have followed it long ago? Wait a sec. It wasn't about me. And you know how easy to criticize someone else's way of life, much easier when it didn't concern you. In this case, however…_

"_I…" taking a deep breath, I recollected what Takashi told me. Words floated through my mouth freely. "I think she should follow her heart. Because it never lies."_

_Hikari looked worried. "But it would break her boyfriend's heart. Though she doesn't love him like that, she still cares for him. Particularly they'd been close friends before he asked her out. There's also a chance that her best friend wouldn't return her feeling. It would definitely break her heart."_

"_Like she hasn't already broken both hers and her boyfriend's by herself, dating someone who she doesn't return feeling the same way it's given." I dropped my face to hide my bitter sneer. "You got something, you lost something. It's the world's logic."_

_Hikari didn't say anything, looking at me. I looked up at the ceiling, thinking over, added. "Time would heal all, I hope."_

"_I hope so." She simply smiled. _

_This time I was able to look back at her and gave a small smile. I would remember my own answer. For the best of all. _

We chatted about nothing in particular for a while before Taichi showed himself. Then the three of us talked until the nurse came in and kindly kicked us out for disturbing the patient till the visiting hour was off. I parted with Taichi when we came to my way.

All the time, the conversation with Hikari kept replaying on my head. And my own answer seemed to hunt me, even in my dream. However, it was still hard to believe that the next morning my mind was so clear like never before.

There's something I had to do.

Hikari's condition was getting better and better. The bandage was taken off her head and even though her leg was in plaster cast, it looked fine now. The doctor said that once they took the cast off, Hikari needed to do physical therapy, due to her terribly injured back, before she could totally walk again. Hikari accepted her fate pretty well. With all the love and support from everyone had made her a strong-will girl. Taichi would definitely help her with the therapy. Takeru was going to take care of her school works so that she didn't need to worry about them. Still, she was lucky to have a chance to be able to walk by her own legs after all.

Taichi was visibly a lot happier. He smiled like he used to, silly, goofy but surely happy. He laughed more, not with a slight of bitterness. One could say that he was back to his old self. It also made me smile, for it seemed so long and assured me of how much I had missed him, the real Taichi.

Still, there's a little sadness in my heart when I thought about it. After the accident, I realized that I knew so little of my best friend. He turned into an almost complete stranger when his little sister got hurt and my presence wasn't much of a help. Totally different from when his ex girlfriend broke up with him. That time he came to me but when something's bigger occurred, he shielded himself with fake smile. It saddened me.

Don't get me wrong. As I have said many times before, I do love Taichi. I'm happy when he's happy, I can laugh when I hear him laugh. It's just…in another side of my heart…wondering of how much I meant to him. Was I in the list of special people in his life like Hikari? He was for me. But was I for him? I couldn't help doubting that he would cry for me if I got hurt? I could guarantee myself as his friend and that he did care for me. But as much as he did for his family? Maybe. Somehow, it wasn't enough….

I wanted his friendship and still craved for more, greedily. What would happen with the logic 'you got something, you lost something' when you don't want to lose anyway?

You're damn….

Oh, and for everyone who wonders about the result of the soccer match.

Odaiba high school lost, understandably.

The students who didn't know about Hikari and the accident might have wondered why Taichi left before the game ended and blamed him for the lost along a line like 'if he'd showed up, we'd have won' or something like that. I didn't understand why they were mad; they didn't play the match themselves. If there's someone who should be sad, it's the soccer team's players, but they didn't. They understood Taichi's situation and allowed him to go. I'd say they didn't regret their decision. Not with a slight depression could bring them down. They accepted the lost willingly and wholeheartedly and started practicing for the next tournament, especially Taichi who wanted to make up for them. Such sprit. At the time like this I envied the sport teams. They have a strong bond tying their members together. Something the outsiders couldn't have.

While Taichi was busy with soccer, I did have my business to do.

I called Sora and asked her to meet me at the park on Friday's evening. We needed to talk. Things that I had delayed. Things that I should've faced long ago.

When I arrived at the park, Sora was already there waiting for me, sitting on a bench under a leafless sakura tree. She didn't look at me or greet me, but I knew that she knew my presence. I sat down, putting some space between us. Neither of us talked nor said anything. Eventually, I started.

"_I think we need to talk."_

"_I have been having a feeling that we would."_

"_What do you mean?" I asked, a bit wondering._

_Sora twisted her hair casually. "Well…it's not like we've actually talked about it before, right?"_

"_You know what I need to talk about?"_

"_I can guess." She tugged her hair behind her ear. When Sora saw me looking unbelievingly, she added. "Girls' sense." _

_I nodded and turned away, accepting it. But I wanted to challenge her still. "What is it?"_

_She's staring at her hands on her lap. Carefully not to look at me, she said lightly. "Something that ends with the word '-ship'?" _

_Okay. So…girls _do_ have special wired sense. "Yeah, you're right." I sighed. Even though I'd prepared for this, it's still hard to begin. "I…this is not good for either of us. It would only lead us to nowhere but misery. We need to break up."_

"_We can't." Sora said, her face emotionless. I looked sharply at her. She didn't meet my eyes. I was shocked. I immediately thought she didn't want to lose me. I was so wrong. Completely forgot to give her credit for her strong, reasonable heart. _

_Before I said anything, she beat me to it. "We just can't, Yamato kun, because we never ever have a real romantic relationship together, right?"_

_This time, she turned to look at me and I couldn't find anything to answer back. She continued. "We can't just break something that even isn't there, right?"_

_Her hands were shaking. I knew that it's not because of the air getting cold. Sora tried her hardest to be strong, to be reasonable even though it's against her emotion. Right then, I was hit, right at the face, with ashamedness of how selfish I was to almost jump up with joy at hearing that she admitted that we never meant to be. _

_I turned away from her, too ashamed to meet her eyes, uttering a word beyond my control. "Right." _

"_I'm sorry I misled everybody."_

"_I know." I took a deep breath. I had to say this. For Sora. For myself. "I'm sorry."_

_Sora closed her eyes. She didn't sound surprised to hear my apology. Perhaps she had expected this. Anyway, she asked plainly. "For what?"_

"_For unable to return your feeling." _

_Silence took place between us once again. We both felt that there's something more to be said, yet we couldn't utter it out. As if we were waiting for…_

"_When I said I misled everybody," She began, voice barely above the cold air. "I **really** meant everybody. Including myself. Especially myself. I told my friends that I asked you out. It's not a lie, was it?" That didn't need an answer. She went on, her voice bitter slightly. "Since you didn't object or protest or anything, they assumed that you accepted my feeling and we're dating. Rumors spread. I couldn't be any happier. Even though you'd never said anything, I knew that you never romantically liked me. But I was hoping that you would like me back, for real, one day." Sora wasn't finished yet. There's still more to come. I just knew it. Because it was simply what had got the mess so far._

"_Why didn't you deny it?"_

_She asked the very important question. The one that I truly used to ask myself once._

_Because I was shocked that Taichi misunderstood my feeling for her? Because the one I loved was a guy who was my best friend who thought I liked his childhood friend thus I couldn't tell him my true feeling? Because it was already too late to refuse the rumors that my only choice was to take the offer? _

_With whatever stupid reasons, to put in one word, I was an asshole. But I wasn't going to tell Sora that. Plus, it's not something to tell your supposed-girlfriend-turn-friend. At least, not yet. _

_I recalled the time when Taichi and she-whoever were going out and I found myself spending times with her. It wasn't bad. Actually, it was good to have someone by my side. Sora was a girlfriend material. Every guy could see that. I had heard that many guys had the hot for her. But, for me, every time Sora and I were together, it felt like a friend thing, not couple type of things. _

_I swallowed, trying to steady my voice before I replied sincerely. "Because I wished we could have been a couple, too."_

"_Really?" she asked, with a bit of surprise. _

"_Yeah." The wind was blowing gently. And I felt…relieved, somehow. Like there was a stone in my chest being lifted off. "I guess I was jealous of your bravery."_

"_My bravery?"_

_I explained. "You weren't afraid of confessing your love to someone."_

_My tone was honest and I was sure Sora could feel it. She gave me a small appreciate smile._

"_And you were jealous because you didn't have courage to confess to the one you love?"_

_I should have been shocked by her tone and her question. It's as if she'd already known whom I liked. She might, though. Girls sense again. I remained silent. It was then Sora knew she's right. _

"_Will you?" she asked, teasing slightly._

"_Maybe."_

_Sora blinked, then blinked again like she didn't believe what she's hearing. _

"_I can't believe it coming from you, Yamato." _

"_Why not?"_

"_Well, considering that tons of girls are screaming your name and showing you their affection, how could you be afraid of getting rejected?"_

"_Because it's none of them that I want?" I tried to play it off as a question. But it couldn't be truer. _

"_Right." Sora rolled her eyes at me. "But you would regret it if you didn't."_

"_Would you? If you had never told me, that is." I knew it's a bit rude to ask anything like this, but I was curious. _

_Sora sighed, but it's more out of habit, not of despair or annoyance. "To be honest, Yamato, I'm glad I did. Even though it hurt that you didn't feel the same way about me at the end."_

"_It would surely hurt if you are rejected at the first place."_

"_Not as much as feeling rejected when you're together." _

_Way to shoot me through my head. Or worse, my heart._

"_Then why would I regret it? If I don't tell, we can stay as friends. And no one gets hurt. "_

"_Because as much as it hurts to get no feeling returned, it would only hurts more to keep it inside not knowing if you have a chance to be happy together."_

_Couldn't argue with that. I was lost of words. So I resigned, obviously. _

"_Guess you're right."_

"_Believe me I am." she said, preparing to leave. "I'm glad we talked it over. Now I can check out some guys without feeling guilty about it."_

_That amused me. "Good luck with it, then."_

"_What are you saying? I have my luck with me. But thanks anyway."_

_I laughed, so did she. Sora got up and managed to walk, not too fast, not too slow, as though trying to maintain her steps._

_It took me a moment before I called out. "Sora!"_

_She stopped, but didn't turn around. "Yes?"_

"_I will see you at school tomorrow, right?"_

_She smiled. "Of course."_

_Then she began to walk again--I saw her shoulders shaking—before broke into a run. I didn't need to see that she was probably crying. I knew she was. _

_Because if it were me, I might do the same—crying over spilt milk, but couldn't resist the urge to do and just gave in._

That night I came home late than usual.To my surprise, my dad was already home preparing meals. And the fact that he couldn't cook anything but convenience food frightened me a great deal. At least his food was edible, to my relief.

He asked me where I had been. I told him I was talking to Sora at the park. That caught his attention. He knew that I was going out with her a few times—I had told him when we had a chance to have dinner together. Those times were rare so we made a habit of telling each other about what had been going on in life. He ever told me once that there was a ghost in the station and everyone was so afraid of it that they refused to do OT at night, but it turned out to be a cat straying, which was a good thing.

He asked how we were doing. I said Sora was planning to check some guys out and I was wishing her luck. His eyes became wider, mouth opened and his chopsticks dropped. I would have laughed at his expression if only I wasn't drinking and didn't want to spray over the table. I quickly gulped down then let a few chuckle escape my lips.

"_Why? I thought you two were going out…"_

"_We were, as friends more than as a couple, though."_

"_I thought you were happy together."_

"_We weren't, dad. But we just decided to talk and settle things today."_

_Dad put his hands down, along with his rice bowl. Leaning against the chair, he looked less stunned though there's still a bit of shock displaying. I took another bite of pock, then put my bowl down as well._

_Neither of us spoke a word for a while, me waiting for dad to fully back to his self and dad waiting for me to further explain, which I knew that he knew that I wasn't going to, unless he asked, that's it. _

_Finally he blinked, closed his eyes, and reopened them. They were so clear that I suspected he actually saw it coming from the start. _

"_Is it good for you?" he asked. He wasn't angry or disappointed, it seemed._

"_It is. For both of us."_

_He nodded, turning back to eat. So did I. _

"_You know," I started once we had finished dinner. "I thought you would be disappointed at me for not being with Sora."_

_Dad drank his tea, slowly and steadily, before replying. "If it's your decision, then I have nothing to say. I'll respect it. Though it's quiet a shame because I know she's a nice girl. Is there somebody? Was it why?"_

"_Yes." I said, staring at him in the eyes. "Right from the start."_

"_Did she know?"_

"_I don't think so. She just knew that I don't have romantic feeling toward her."_

_Dad nodded. Taking out his lighter and cigarette, he began to lighten it while I started cleaning the table. It was a while before I sat back on my chair and he spoke again._

"_You know, Yamato," he exhaled. Smoke lingered in the air. "For the term about relationship, I'm the last person who has the right to judge you." _

_I listened intently. When he talked with that tone, I didn't want to interrupt. The seriousness and calmness showed that he cared._

"_When your mother and I got a divorce, I didn't think that you would probably get hurt. I only thought, at that time, that it's for the best for us. Natsuko was going to take care of Takeru and you're coming with me. Never thought of how you would feel about our family failing apart and might not be able to see each other again." _

_He pressed the cigarette in the ashtray, looking up at me. I was a bit confused about why he was talking about his divorce. Dad gave me a small, apologetic smile before he continued._

"_You are strong. You never blamed me for what happened and why Natsuko and I parted ways. And I am grateful of it. Then there're only you and me. I know you try hard to handle everything. You take care of the house, cook, clean. You take care of yourself, never involve in any wrongdoing, never get me worried. You've even taken care of me, despite how it should be other way round._

"_You tried not to show it and I admit that, at first, I didn't pay attention. I drown myself in work, thinking you're fine. But one day I came home early, I found you sleeping, laying on the couch, holding a picture—a picture of our family together. I realized right then how much I had hurt you." _

_I lowered my head. I remembered that. Later I woke up, feeling a blanket protecting me from chill. I knew it was dad doing, but I had no idea of dad seeing that picture…because he didn't say anything, well, not until now._

"_I realized then what a great son I have and I can't ask for more. You've put up with me all this time, why can't I do the same for you?"_

_I looked up hastily. Sure, it's something that one could only have guessed; however, I almost feared that he see through something deeper, the reason why I couldn't return Sora's feeling, which would certainly lead to any problem with society, with old tradition and people's belief. The sense of panic grouped about me. Then dad gave me this fatherly smile. I realized that he **didn't** know. Still, dad was willing to put up with whatever my decision was. _

_He trusted me that much._

_Getting up from the chair and walking over, I hugged him. Awkwardly at first, then he hugged back, rubbing my back gently._

"_As long as you're happy with it, Yamato." said dad kindly._

_I nodded against his shoulder. When he released me, I could only smile in return._

Later, I laid awake on my bad, thinking over of the previous events. The certain question repeated itself in my head. Closing my eyes, my mind shifted between here and there. I got the answer the night after Hikari's request for advice. I was afraid. A fool who was afraid to lose little unimportant things he mistakenly believed he owned such as reputation and having a great fear of unseeing future and mistrusting his heart. Apparently, I most feared that if Taichi knew, he'd hate me. What a baka. I didn't even trust my best friend that time. I, of all people, should have known better than anyone.

At least a problem was solved. I breathed a sigh of relief before promptly fell asleep, dreaming of Taichi's face when his eyes shone with sincerity telling me that all he wanted was my happiness.

What would come later, come later. I would take it all.

Perhaps I should wish the 'later' would come a little slower so that I could prepare myself better.

Taichi confronted me about my break-up on Sunday's night. Right after spending the afternoon being dragged to shopping with a certain person, namely Sora.

Before you ask why I didn't tell him myself, I will have you know that on Saturday, I was at band's rehearsal getting bitched out by Akira. I ended up telling him, Takashi and Yutaka all details about Sora and dad. Needless to say, they congratulated me, laughing and happy for me. I wasn't aware of it until they got me practice so hard that I could barely move next morning. Akira said it was my punishment for making them worried. Damn, I really have some _nice_ friends. I slept through the day, though.

So back to the story, I gloomily woke up and groaned when I heard the door bell. I was more than ready to punch whoever that dared to disturb my beauty sleep and kick them out, telling them to get lost. I was very wide awake, intention forgotten; however, to see a brunette head with the face that I saw in my dream.

Taichi stood there, slightly out of breath as if running a marathon, looking at me with…what? Concern? Hurtful expression? At the moment I could comprehend of nothing, standing dumbfounded like an idiot. Taichi's little voice brought me off my gaze.

"_Yamato…can I…can I come in?"_

"…_what? Oh, of course. Sorry." _

_I held the door for him before closed it softly behind his back. Taichi didn't go far. Instead he turned to stare at me. I raised an eyebrow. He seemed to snap out of it and went to living room. I followed him, stopped by the kitchen to bring him some drink. Looked like he needed it. _

_I handed him a glass of water which he accepted, nodding his thank. Taichi gulped down one whole then turned to me, a wary, amused smile on his lips. I raised both eyebrows._

"_What?"_

"_Did I… umm…come in a bad time?" he asked, gesturing to my messy pajamas; a baggy t-shirt and black boxers. Not being modest, I snorted._

"_What could have been worse than getting interrupted in the middle of sleep?"_

"_Getting interrupted in the middle of sleeping with someone?" he grinned slyly. I grunted. _

"_Taichi, you know, dirty jokes aren't for you. So give it up already."_

"_Oh, at least I try." He shrugged. "You really slept this long? It's not like you." _

"_Not my fault. The band got me exhausted." Taichi opened his mouth. I cut him off before he started. "As I said before. Dirty jokes aren't for you. Quit it."_

_I want to my room to put on some pants. When I came back I saw him unconsciously fiddling with his fingers. I sat down next to him._

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Sora said you two were not together anymore." He went straight to the point. I nearly lost my balance and fell off the couch if I wasn't fast enough to catch the cushion. _

"_How…" I mumbled out of disbelief, then recalled his words. "Did Sora tell you?" _

_Taichi nodded. "She was visiting Hikari. And before I knew it, I was kidnapped! I had to load the stuffs she bought in exchange for a giving lunch for my labor. I'd never known Sora was a slave driver. She bought so many girly stuffs that have embarrassed me sometimes. Don't ask. I asked why she didn't drag you along. She told me during lunch."_

"_Good thing, then. I kind of don't know how to tell you. With her being your friend since childhood and all." Sora was very rational as usual. From what Taichi told me she didn't even blame me when she could. Good old Sora. She must have told him so that he'd get the first-hand information and not misunderstand me for hurting her._

"_Why didn't you tell me before?" Taichi asked, face saddened._

_I sighed. "Because you seemed happy with the whole thing."_

_He blinked. "So you went out with her because of me?"_

_Indeed. "Sora's nice, you said. I knew you cared for her and thought I'd give it a try. It just didn't work out."_

_Taichi lowered his head, voice mumbled. "Sora also told me another thing."_

_That caught me off guard. "What else did she tell you?"_

"_That you've had feelings for someone else." He turned to me, a slight frown appearing between his eyebrows. "Is it true?"_

"_Yes." _

_I answered with all my honest. Something flashed in his eyes that had gone so fast. He turned away, biting his lips so hard it almost bleeded as if not wanting to let a single word out. _

_I heard him whisper. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that…"_

"_It's alright." _

_Then he quieted down, thoughts getting through his head. Taichi refused to meet my eyes. So I cupped his face, slowly but gently, to direct him to look at me. I was instantly startled at what I witnessed. _

_Taichi's beautiful cacao eyes shade to tears, lips trembling uncontrollably, hands that ghostly touched mine also shaking. I would never image that only one word could break down someone so strong. He looked like he wanted to cry. _

"_Tai…" I breathed, still in shock._

_Taichi's eyes only got wider, perceiving the situation. He swiftly got up and ran to the door, putting on his jacket, bawling over his shoulder as he saw that I was lost of words._

"_I've got to go. See you later, Yamato."_

_At that, he was gone, leaving me with the air of confusion whirling around. _

**To Be Continued… **

Red: I blame the lateness on Ishida Masaharu, who convinced me to give him a role in exchange for a secret photo of his son or else he wouldn't get off my back. When I agreed and finished this chapter, he gave me a picture of baby Takeru. Stupid bastard.

Koromon: if you got something to say, the review button is there, at your service. But even if you don't have anything to say, the review button is still there, at your service. :D Come on guys! I know you want to.


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